Love came.

They say love covers a multitude of sins.
Imperfections.
Mess ups.

It used to be that the mess ups were all my eyes could see.

Never did my eyes land upon what was done well,
with excellence, or with care.

My eyes only blinded and scarred by imperfection.
My imperfection.  
Again.

Unable to see the gift and beauty within the brokenness.

Distracted, overtaken by my inability to get it right.

Wanting to throw it out and start over.

Frustrated. Alone.

It must be only me.

Work harder. Be better. Try again!

For surely the voice of Affection and Love I long to hear
deep in my own soul will come with perfection.
Winning. Achieving.

The straining to attract and grasp that voice

that would finally bring peace to my heart
and rest to my harried striving.

But it never came.

The more I strive the louder I hear the voice of Shame and Lack.

Even though familiar voices told me otherwise

I couldn’t drown out the shouts
and, worse, whispers
that came so frequently...

“You’re not enough. You never will be.
Couldn’t you do it a little more perfectly?

Couldn’t you have given a little more?
What is wrong with you?”

My inner soul laid bare, uncovered.

Seen and ashamed,
I’m undone and overtaken by the mess of my being.

Wanting to hide but nowhere to go, Love came.

Love came.

When I wasn’t seeking, He came.

He lifted the veil, the blinders that covered my eyes.

The blinders that kept my eyes fixed on my lack of perfect
and unable to see His.

His perfect love began to cover me and cast out fear.

Fear of failure,
fear of inadequacy,
fear of being seen and then rejected.

It began to flee.
It could not stay as the light of Love came and covered.

There were still imperfections, but He didn’t seem to notice.

“I covered that,” He said. “Stop looking at them, and look at Me.”

He pulled me in close.

The covering of my soul feels so warm, clean, deep.

And suddenly the mess ups became beautiful.

Suddenly I could hear the voice I had desired to hear for so long,

the voice that had been there for decades.

The voice had actually been there all along.  

“I’m proud of you! You are beautiful.

Beauty comes from within you,
in all that you are,
all that you do
and all that you create.

My daughter you are beautiful
and from you flows beauty
because you are Mine.”

And the miracle happened.

My heart believed it to be true.

I am lovely because He says I am.

My blind eyes opened to see the beauty all around
in Him, myself, and others.

My deaf ears open to hear the voice of Him
who drowns out the others.

His covering breaks the bondage of perfectionism,

my heart is now becoming free to flow in love,

a love that covers over endless mess ups, my own and others.

Love is in the trying,
stepping out in faith to try something
because it matters, not because it’s perfect.

Being loved by Him I can now see how much He loves you
in a way I never did before.

Love builds up what life tears apart.

Like a quilt sewn together with care.

It covers, warms, cheers, draws near.

Always perfect from Him.

And it flows, through us when we openly receive.

Flowing love is beautiful and cherished
through the power from which it came.

At dinner I can here my mom asking, "can you taste the love?"

The best and most important addition.

Yes, yes I can.

It's there, in the mundane and everyday.

I’ve come to know and taste it.  

And it really is the ingredient that makes all the difference.