When You're in the Desert

(Thought we were finished with Skype but still thankful for it in marriage!)

I love how the Lord often give you a verse or passage at just the right time. Yesterday morning around 4:30 am I got up with Joshua to eat breakfast before he left for his 6 am flight to New Jersey. (REALLY can't believe I got up this early every day to swim!) I was emotional (as I usually am before he leaves, kinda silly really but usually the way it goes none the less!) We were both tired but wanted to continue with our morning routine in the Psalms. Yesterday's Psalm could not have been more timely: Psalm 16. Read it and be encouraged!

Preserve me, O God, for in YOU I take refuge. I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord; I have NO GOOD apart from you.” ... The Lord is my CHOSEN PORTION and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in PLEASANT PLACES; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance. I bless the Lord who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is GLAD, and my whole being REJOICES; my flesh also dwells secure. For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption. You make known to me the path of LIFE; in your presence there is FULLNESS OF JOY; at your right hand are PLEASURES FOREVERMORE.

I needed to hear this! The Lord is continually bringing us through "deserts" or times when our expectations differ from reality. Its in this "desert" that we are to voice our lament to God. A lament is simply an expression of grief, sadness or regret. We see this pattern modeled all through scripture, especially Psalms. We can't just pretend like we're fine and everything is great when its not! (I spent so many years pretending I was okay, afraid to be real and share that I was really struggling) But the opposite is also destructive, to just accept that this is the way it is, "deal with it" mentality.

Every day we are faced with this divide, what we thought or wanted has failed to become reality. It is here that the Lord draws us to Himself as we cry out to Him with the struggle and ask Him to renew our hearts.

Our most recent example: I don't like when Joshua travels (neither does he!). I like when he's home, with me. He's my best friend, brother, and lover and therefore it is natural for me to desire to be with him. Its a good and right desire, until I make it a demand, a necessity at which point it becomes selfish idolatry! I feel entitled to have him home, after all, we already served our time of long distance, right?!? Don't I deserve to be with my husband!? (the answer is NO! I have earned and deserve nothing but wrath.)

The reality is he's in New Jersey. I'm here in Charlotte. We're doing long distance that we thought we were finished with after a year and a half of being apart. But in God's sovereign wisdom He has brought us to this desert that He might teach our hearts that HE is our portion and our cup. The lines HAVE fallen for us in pleasant places. Even now our hearts can be GLAD and our whole beings REJOICE. God wants me to voice my lament "this is hard, Lord!" "I long to be with my husband" "I don't understand" but ultimately the Lord will use this to show me again my dependency on Him "I need you Lord" "I can't do this on my own" "I don't know how to love as I should" "Teach me to submit with gladness" "I long to do Your will, help me to obey!"

And so, if you find yourself in a desert, where your dreams or expectations seem to be delayed or crumbled, run to the Lord. Its only through Christ that we can find true joy, He is the true Satisfier, the only Treasure. Not Joshua, not a family, not friends. Not a job or money or beauty. Christ is all and in all! In the presence of Jesus there is FULLNESS OF JOY, and at His right hand are PLEASURES forevermore!

Cling to Colossians 1:11-14, memorize it, mediate on it, trust it with your heart, mind and soul. Oh that my soul would grasp the depths of this awesome truth!

May you be STRENGTHENED with ALL POWER according to His GLORIOUS MIGHT for all ENDURANCE and PATIENCE with JOY, GIVING THANKS to the Father who has qualified you to share in the INHERITANCE with the saints in light. He has DELIVERED us from the domain of DARKNESS and TRANSFERRED us to the kingdom of His beloved Son, in whom we have REDEMPTION the forgiveness of sins.

Lord teach me to give thanks always!

Joshua surprised me with flowers Monday night before he left. Thankful for his creative selection, they are beautiful! I'm enjoying them as he is away!

We are officially members of Desiring God Community Church! We are so thankful for this body of believers and we are excited to use our gifts to serve here. We have been so blessed by the faithful teaching of God's word, especially by Pastor Coty through Exodus, and also the deep community which has become our family here. We love their heart for the nations and we are eager to partner with them in "spreading a passion for the supremacy of God in all things for the joy of all peoples."

I am still waiting for all my paperwork/credentialing to clear before I can start work, I am so ready! The Kings Mountain office where I was going to be working fell through but they still desire to hire me to work at their current office in Dallas, NC (which is actually much closer to our home!) Hoping to start by mid-March if everything goes as planned. Meanwhile, I'm trying to stay busy at the pregnancy resource center (which I love!)